Jaipur school girl’s death renews focus on bullying: How to know if your child is being bullied, red flags and what parents should do

Nine-year-old Amaira, a Class 4 student at Neerja Modi School in Jaipur, died after jumping from the fourth floor of her school building in November last year, in a case that has raised serious questions about bullying, child safety and the responsibility of educational institutions. Her parents have alleged that their daughter faced repeated bullying by classmates and that her pleas for help were ignored by teachers and school authorities.

Amaira’s family has maintained that sustained harassment and the school’s failure to intervene played a role in the tragedy. They have repeatedly sought answers about what happened inside the classroom in the moments before her death, demanding a deeper investigation into the circumstances surrounding the incident. New CCTV footage released by the family, which shows the events leading up to the fall, has renewed attention on their allegations and sparked concerns about whether warning signs of distress in children are being recognised and addressed in time.

The case has once again drawn attention to the serious impact bullying can have on a child’s mental health and the importance of recognising early signs of emotional distress. As concerns grow over how prolonged bullying and lack of timely intervention can affect children, mental health experts explain the warning signs parents and schools should not ignore, and the steps that can help protect a child’s emotional well-being.

Dr Gayatri Bhatia, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Amrita Hospital, Faridabad, explains that bullying is different from ordinary childhood conflict because it involves repetition and a power imbalance.

“Conflict is between equals and is usually temporary. Bullying is when a person intimidates, humiliates or excludes another person repeatedly, and there is a power imbalance,” Dr Bhatia says. She adds that prolonged exposure to such stress can affect a child’s emotional well-being, behaviour and even brain function over time.

According to Dr Bhatia, children who experience chronic bullying face a higher risk of anxiety disorders, depression, self-harm, poor academic performance and suicidal thoughts. “The effect is not just emotional. Chronic stress causes the body’s stress-response system to go into overdrive, resulting in long-term surges in stress hormones such as cortisol, which can interfere with focus, memory and emotional stability,” she explains.

Experts say children often do not directly tell adults that they are being bullied. Instead, they communicate their distress through changes in behaviour.

“Children rarely say, “I am being bullied. They do not communicate but change behaviour,” Dr Bhatia says.

Parents should watch for signs such as frequent headaches, stomach aches or nausea despite normal medical reports, sudden reluctance to go to school or participate in activities, a decline in academic performance, withdrawal from family and friends, sleep disturbances, nightmares, changes in appetite, loss of confidence, increased irritability, unexplained injuries or damaged belongings, and anxiety around phones or social media.

“If they (these symptoms) continue for several weeks, such symptoms should not be brushed off as ‘teenage mood swings’,” she warns.

Dr Gorav Gupta, Senior Psychiatrist and CEO of Tulasi Healthcare, New Delhi, also highlights that behavioural changes are often the first indication that a child may be struggling.

“When children suffer from bullying, they may have reluctance when it comes to going to school, show signs of frequent headaches or abdominal pain, lose interest in things they used to enjoy or become unusually quiet and withdrawn,” Dr Gupta says.

He adds that sleep problems, appetite changes, declining academic performance, unexplained injuries or damaged belongings should not be ignored. “Any change in the behaviour of a child must be taken seriously and addressed appropriately,” he says.

According to Dr Gupta, signs such as fear of going to school, persistent crying, isolation, irritability, aggression, loss of self-esteem and withdrawal from friends or extracurricular activities should be treated as warning signals.

Creating a safe environment where children feel heard is the first step, according to Dr Bhatia.

“The first thing we should do is create emotional safety. Listen carefully, without blaming or questioning the child. Validate their experience and don’t dismiss it,” she says.

Parents should document incidents, including dates, screenshots and witness accounts where appropriate, while working with schools to ensure the child’s safety. If emotional or behavioural changes continue for more than two weeks or begin affecting daily life, experts recommend seeking help from a mental health professional.

Dr Bhatia cautions parents against dismissing bullying or asking children to simply ignore it.

“Do not tell the child to ‘hit back’ or to ‘ignore it’. Don’t assume bullying creates resilience. Don’t blame the child for being ‘too sensitive’,” she says.

She also advises parents not to directly confront the alleged bully or their family before involving the school and addressing the issue through proper channels.

Bullying, experts say, is not merely a disciplinary concern but a child protection issue. Teachers are often among the first adults outside the family who can identify changes in a child’s behaviour.

“Frequent absences, lack of participation in class, withdrawal during recess or sudden decline in academic performance should lead to timely intervention and not punishment,” Dr Bhatia says.

She adds, “Schools should have confidential reporting systems, trained counsellors, anti-bullying protocols and regular mental health awareness programs. Early intervention prevents psychological harm and yields better long-term educational and social outcomes.”

Dr Gupta says children should be encouraged to express themselves openly, while parents should validate their emotions and work together with teachers, school psychologists and social workers to address bullying.

“Continuous bullying can have lasting consequences on the psychological and emotional condition of a child. It can lead to a higher risk of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, social isolation, bad academic results, and mistrustfulness,” he says.

He adds that early detection and timely support can help reduce these long-term effects. “If symptoms persist despite support from family and school, the child should be examined by a mental health expert,” Dr Gupta says.

(Discussions on suicides can be triggering for some. But suicides are preventable. If you are looking for help, some suicide prevention helpline numbers in India are 011-40769002 from Sanjivini (Delhi-based, 10 am – 5.30 pm) and 044-24640050 from Sneha Foundation (Chennai-based, 8 am – 10 pm), +91 9999666555 from Vandrevala Foundation (Mumbai-based, 24×7).

(This article is meant for informational purposes only and must not be considered a substitute for advice provided by qualified medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.)