‘S.N.L.’ Holds Its Own Debate of New York City Mayoral Hopefuls
While the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Toronto Blue Jays were battling each other for the World Series trophy, “Saturday Night Live” was focused on the heated electoral contest in the true capital of the world: New York City.
This weekend’s “S.N.L.” broadcast, hosted by Miles Teller and featuring the musical guest Brandi Carlile, began with a satirical debate among the three major candidates for mayor, played by Teller and two former “S.N.L.” hosts.
Teller was cast as Andrew M. Cuomo, the former governor of New York and an independent candidate for mayor. In his opening remarks, Teller said, “I got us through Covid and then, yada yada yada, honk honk, squeeze squeeze [with illustrative hand gestures]. Anyway I’m back.” He added that as mayor he would bring a familiarity with New York: “I know this city like the back of a woman’s back,” Teller said. “Mamma mia!”
Ramy Youssef, the comedian and actor, played Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic front-runner. He said he was happy to be there and “ready to spend the next hour hearing my opponents pronounce my name in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine.”
Youssef added that he hoped to placate people who were frightened of a socialist Muslim by “smiling after every answer in a way that physically hurts my face.” (In so saying, Youssef gave a broad, exaggerated grin that he repeated throughout the sketch.)
Shane Gillis, the not-quite-“S.N.L.”-cast-member turned standup and actor, played Curtis Sliwa, the Republican candidate. He said he was “thrilled to be here and not getting shot in the back of a Yellow Cab five times by the Gottis and Gambinos, as I was, famously, in 1992, 1993 and ’94.”
Gillis said he was the best candidate, offering apologies to “Mr. Cuomo and — I believe I’m saying this right — Zoltar Rob Zombie.”
Kenan Thompson, playing the moderator, Errol Louis, asked the candidates why they would want “the worst job in the world.”
Teller answered, “As soon as you are elected mayor, everyone in the city immediately hates you. And in that way, I am already one step ahead of the game.”
Youssef said he hoped to deliver a better New York with affordable housing and free health care and Wi-Fi. “Can I make that happen?” he asked. “I’m not sure yet. But together we’re going to find out. That the answer is no.”
The candidates were also asked for their go-to bagel orders, to which Gillis responded: “As you know, in 1982 I had my penis cut off and fed to me by the yakuza. So, obviously, blueberry bagel, toasted, strawberry cream cheese, eaten over a garbage can.”
After rejecting a facetious endorsement from Mayor Eric Adams (played by “S.N.L.” cast member Kam Patterson), Youssef turned straight to the camera and delivered a romantic pitch to female voters who might feel “white guilt” for gentrifying their formerly Spanish neighborhoods.
“Why don’t you vote for me?” Youssef said. “You’ll feel a little less bad about that chicken and rice shop getting turned into a Sweetgreen.”
But before the candidates could answer a question about the biggest problem they would have to confront as mayor, they were interrupted by James Austin Johnson in his recurring role as President Trump, who entered triumphantly, declaring, “It’s me!”
After roasting the mayoral candidates and giving his own go-to bagel order (“Big Mac with a hole in the middle”), Johnson said that though he no longer lives in New York, “I’m always watching — lurking in the shadows, much like the late, great Phantom of the Opera.”
Then he concluded by donning a “Phantom” mask and singing a surprisingly tuneful version of “The Music of the Night.”
Double act of the week
You’ve got some competition, Michael B. Jordan. When “S.N.L.” needed two actors to play the hosts of “Property Brothers” in a parody of that HGTV reality series, it turned to its host, Teller, to play Drew Scott — and to play his twin, Jonathan. The filmed segment was also an opportunity to bring back Johnson as Trump for a second time this week, as he and Melania Trump (Chloe Fineman) fumbled their way through the demolition and rebuilding of the White House’s East Wing. As Teller explained, “The Trumps have already made a few subtle changes to the house.” Fineman added, “Donald got rid of the portrait of F.D.R., and he put a painting of himself as a soldier from Halo.”
Weekend Update jokes of the week
Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che riffed on a Halloween event at the White House and the Trump administration’s efforts to halt SNAP benefits.
Weekend Update desk segments of the week
Two weeks ago, Bowen Yang’s absence from the live “S.N.L.” broadcast denied us an opportunity to see him return as George Santos, the ex-congressman whose prison sentence for wire fraud and other crimes had just been commuted by President Trump. But this week, when Jost said he was bringing out “the world’s No. 1 marathoner,” you knew who was really coming: Yang, who said he’d already won the New York City Marathon (which hadn’t taken place at that point), also fielded prison phone calls from his close friends “Ghislaine,” “Luigi” and “Diddy,” and showed off the jeweled necklace he stole from the Louvre, which he said was the rightful property of his ancestors — “the Zales.”
And even though their bit was mostly a bunch of double entendres, we couldn’t help but be charmed by Ashley Padilla and Andrew Dismukes playing a still-slightly-mussed post-hookup couple whose awkward interactions made a pretty good metaphor for the state of negotiations between Republicans and Democrats over the government shutdown.
