Why high-net-worth individuals are spending thousands on relationship wellness

First came the career coach. Then the personal trainer, nutritionist and wealth manager, as highly successful people, outsourced their lives to maximise work performance. But now more and more are seeking assistance in a far more personal area: their love lives.

Elite matchmaking services are seeing a surge in business as people shift towards a more human-to-human approach to dating. And while average earners with dating app burnout are trying anything from a walking club to a backgammon night in the hunt for love offline, high-net-worth individuals (HNWIs) are investing significant sums in finding it.

Experts say that with the world in perma-crisis, people are ever more aware of just how vital the right relationship is. It echoes the key takeaway from Harvard’s “Study of Adult Human Development”, the longest in-depth longitudinal study on human life ever done, that found strong personal relationships are the number one predictor of happiness, health, and longevity – outperforming everything from wealth and fame to IQ and social class.

At the same time, the UK’s wellness market is rapidly expanding. Recent research by the Global Wellness Institute found that the UK’s wellness economy in 2024 was the fifth largest in the world, reaching $224bn (£166bn) in 2022, behind only the US, China, Germany, and Japan.

While the sector covers everything from physical and mental wellness to the spa industry, the signs are that “relationship wellness” is a growing part of this market. Over in the US, “personal life” coaching, which works to improve relationships and self-confidence, made up 34 per cent of the entire life coaching industry in 2024.

Here in the UK, couples are seeking to bolster, rescue or just improve their core life partnership by doing everything from counselling to couples’ retreats. But while singles in search of love are increasingly seeking out real-life connections, HNW singles are outsourcing their relationship wellness to elite professional matchmakers more and more.

Services at global matchmaking agency Berkeley International start at £15,000 for UK-only, one-year unlimited introductions, rising to £40,000 for global matches. Elite members, however, can pay for “private search” – a highly tailored service of hand-picked matches that meets requirements on everything from diet preference to postcode. If you want to find a vegetarian barrister who lives in Chelsea, for instance, fees start at £70,000. Demand has increased by 200 per cent since the pandemic.

“The qualities that build wealth don’t necessarily build intimacy,” says global director Mairead Molloy. “Highly successful people are also trained to control variables, make fast decisions, guarantee outcomes and minimise uncertainty. But while all these skills work for business, it’s often too prescriptive for relationships.

“Relationship difficulties can often trigger a sense of shame. People think, if I can build a business or a life, why can I not meet the right person?

“Our role is not just to connect people. It is also about relationship support, from style and lifestyle through to psychological guidance, so that people feel stronger and more confident going into a relationship.”

Berkeley’s success rates for private search are around 90 per cent and Inga Verbeeck gets similar results at Ivy Relations. For Verbeeck, the rise of relationship wellness is a counterpart to the health longevity trend.

“The emotional element of relationship satisfaction goes hand in hand with the increasing interest in physical longevity,” she says. “Covid created a shift and people know now that what actually creates happiness is health and love.”

Verbeeck started Ivy 13 years ago and has a network of clients spanning Europe, the US and Middle East, paying upwards of £100,000 for her bespoke services, which see Ivy’s team of headhunters do online research to find men and women who match their clients’ criteria before approaching them to ask if they’re interested in finding love.

After extensive screening, about half of those who say they are will be accepted onto Ivy’s database. Not all of those approached are HNWIs, but all of Ivy’s clients are and they are presented with a minimum of 45 profiles and nine introductions once the research process is complete.

“People’s requests get supercharged when they have financial means and the complexity is in the mix of elements,” says Verbeeck. “Finding someone with an MBA is relatively simple for instance but finding someone with an MBA, a specific height and look, the right hobbies, geography, spirituality and political viewpoint is very specific. It takes a lot of time and expertise which is why costs are high.”

But it’s not just older affluent singles who are employing matchmaking services. People in their thirties are a key growth group at Bowes Lyon Partnership.

“Despite being constantly connected, they also feel utterly disconnected,” says founder Hayley Bystram. “What amazes me is how many people are at the same place on holiday, the same private members clubs and gyms but never connect with one another through their own endeavours despite having so many opportunities to.

“And finding a relationship is also a specific skill set centred on the ability to connect and trust your own judgement. A barrister, for instance, can be incredibly calm under huge pressure in court but dissolve and overanalyse about what one ‘X’ at the end of a text means in comparison to two.

“We have to hold people’s hand who don’t know where to start. Successful dating needs strategy and a plan.”

Feedback and advice are key to the process of maximising a client’s relationship wellness, both as a single and potentially in partnership.

“It’s about going into it with your eyes open on morals, values and intentions,” says Bystram. “And having someone separate from your personal and professional worlds to talk to without any judgement.”

But even with services as bespoke as these, the path of true love remains unpredictable.

“A few years ago, I flew to Texas to meet a woman who’d decided she wanted to meet exactly 12 matches over four months and they needed to work in finance, be legally trained and willing to relocate,” says Molloy.

“We set up her matches, she flew over to London to meet them and started seeing one so it all seemed to be going well. Then a guy she’d met in the airport lounge on the flight over called and they’re now married which was an unexpected success in itself.”

The old adage might say that you cannot put a price on love but the signs are that wealthy daters don’t necessarily agree. And they look set to keep investing large sums to guarantee their romantic future.